Tuesday, June 30, 2009

i don't what will i write right now. maybe i'm still in pain. but not that much.

jealousy. for me is selfishness. this past few days, i feel this kind of feeling. i don't know why. i don't want to elaborate it because its not good to share. but i really feel jealous..dang!

ewan ko ba.. naiinis ako at nararamdaman ko yon. i cant tell anyone about my feelings. even my closest friend. kasi namn ayoko tlga non. hindi ko naman ginusto ee... ppero bakit gnon diba?

do i really need to feel this way. i became slefish this paSt few days. maybe because i cant tell them what are my plans in life. i'm not yet ready. but i'm hoping that time will come and i have the strength to tell them.

minsan lng ako makaramdam ng ganitong feeling. minsan na sa buhay ko ay napagdaanan ko ang gnitong situation. and sasabihin ko sa inyo na hindi ako masaya.YES! i'm not happy. akala siguro ng lahat na masaya ako lagi, na kaya kong itago ang lahat. pero hindi. even the closest friend of mine have no idea aobut my situation right now.

minsan gusto ko siya. minsan hindi. minsan kinikilig ako sa kanya. minsan parang wala lng.
wala naman siyang pakialam dun ee. pero gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na "HEY! I LIKE YOU!" but i can't.
i'm still moving on with my boss. and hindi ko pa kaya ang lahat.

mixed emotions.. yan ang nararamdaman ko. every time na kasma ko siya. hindi ko alam kung totoo na ba ito o hindi pa. hindi namn ako nagmamadaling malaman ee.. as much as possible ayoko pa.!..

nakakramdam ako ng selos every time na may kasama siya, pero pag kasama ko siya, i cant feel any "kilig" factor. so hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba siya o hindi!. nagmumukha lng aknog tanga minsan..! awts!

last week, i told my friends that i want to be a fish. wala kasing emotion ang mga isda. you will not know if he's happy or sad. di ba maganda yun?..

nakakainis. nakakaasar. nakakagutom. nakakastress. kung alam ko lng na makakramdam ako ng ganito sana hindi ko na lng tinuloy ang mga nauna knog desisyon. kasi it will leads it to a deepeer feeling. which i don't like. kasi hindi maganda..

ako pala ung masasaktan. ako pala ung nagmumukang tanga. ako pala ung iiyak. ako pala!

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next tym nlng ha.. naiinis pa kasi ako tlga...

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